Treat yourself and your partner to some time off: two times two nights in the magical Druid's Cave for only 12 gold pieces.
Oh you pure soul, you want to escape your everyday life and live like the last Neanderthal before the final extinction in the Paleolithic? Is the old nag getting on your nerves and you don't know how to finally get rid of the nuisance? Are you a born troglodyte? Then off to the druid's cave!
With the 'Druid Magic Days Tours' you have the unique chance to endure a truly unforgettable short vacation. For a modest 12 fine ounces of gold, they receive a voucher painted by the Druid himself in a self-glued envelope from the Otherworld of the Correctional Facility of Darkpit, because the gracious spirit beings of white-collar crime have invited the holy man in front of the District Court to spend a few years there. The envelope crackling with magic is free for a small handling fee of 2 troy ounces of gold.
Alternatively, we offer you a unique stay in the enchanted druid's hut in the Bleak Forest. Together with his spirit guide Merlin le Fake, the wise druid of Tingeltangel has nailed together the noble dwelling completely sustainable from old pallets and wood waste. Make a time travel into the darkest realms of the Middle Ages without any comfort and live like a starving beggar at the time of Richard the Lionheart. Also, all fantasy fans get their money's worth here, since all kinds of mutated creatures - e.g. gigantic rats, dire wolves, gigantic cave bears and the thing from the swamp - cavort in the fairy tale forest due to the neighboring nuclear power plant of Scarytale. For only 9 troy ounces of gold, you can experience a unique adventure that would challenge even Conan the Barbarian.
Regarding clearing, we must insist on prepayment, as all sorts of exciting mishaps can happen to you that will send you straight on to a better world. For the recovery of your mortal remains or what will be left of them, you'd better make provisions yourself. However, we offer you in advance the 'last remote oiling' by our saint of your last days from jail for only one(!) troy ounce of gold.
We are also happy to accept the purchase price - converted at the current daily rate plus 10% allowance - in a stable currency.
The mystical short vacation offer at a glance:
- 'Druid Magic Days Tours' for only 12 troy ounces of shimmering gold.
- two unique trips for two people.
- with two nights each in the 'Cueva de los Muertos' or the Druid's Hut ('Casucha Apestosa')
- Includes great survival experience.
- Attractive choice of demise through exciting battles with wild animals.
- three, four, or five mutant fantasy creatures, depending on your stamina.
- Redeemable over three years with no cancellation option.
- about 270 types of death to choose from.
- Free funeral service in the prison canteen by the drunken druid.
- The arrival is not included in the price, you do not really need to worry about your departure.
© 2022 H.K.H. Jeub
All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Qayid Aljaysh Juyub.
Published on e-Stories.org on 04/17/2022.
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