Broken dreams (9)
Scene WHERE - EXACTLY WHERE - TIME OF DAY
32 INSIDE - SITTING ROOM of RF - MEET
„What you expect, there will not be of Pieter and me: to do no charter everything
what you did before. Indeed, you may look younger, but the staying power, the
rest and patience to call only something what one knows of RF?“
She laid to him a box with tablets on the empty plate, he shook the head.
„Why I should start with it.“
Madleine looked at the medicine, these were merely reassurance tablets, (how
strongly, like weakly, was not recognizable on the first moment) there everybody
still perceived here, as excited, angry and nervously the actor still was. She nodded.
„It is fine only one matter of time, until you have got used to your body. To show
fear which would be embarrassing for you for what.... Take please, also to me for
the sake of.“
RF could not beat off of the darlings this. Even if him the subject amused fear at
Pieter looked around meanwhile round the flat, then requested for RF a good photo
what showed him how he has looked before and it was enough Christopher.
„You mean, you do it in such a way that it will deceive everybody except us?“
„However, can take up thus 1-3 hours, in this RF can also try out immediately his
„This was taken up as an everyday program point: Mask after the breakfast, then a
little shorter or longer walk, the RF sometimes with Madleine, sometimes with
Marie or Christopher and also with Pieter alone should undertake. During the day
appeared that RF became more patient very well and quieter, according to his real
age. In the evening he refused over and over again to take the tablets, because he
would prefer a normal sleep, to Madleine it omitted sighing to talk into taking him
the things what led, however, to follower:
RF struggled afterwards during the day over hammering headaches, feeling of
sickness, sometimes also to light fever. What knew neither he nor Madleine: the
tablets were no 0-8-15 preparations, but the strongest what was to be had at the
market and he would have had to take them strictly according to regulation,
because he confirmed also to the doctors over and over again, were surprised, why
he became more and more monosyllabic. When it was, however, even 18 o'clock
and he feigned tiredness, fizzed Madleine.
„You demonstrate what, why to me? Only because you cannot wait for the time for
33 INSIDE - BEDROOM of RF - EVENING
RF did not hear on them, lay down, she followed him anxiously.
„Do you not deal still what?“
„As you see, I must be around you like the mother around her small tearful child.“
She touched softly his upper arms, his remaining body, felt how he easily trembled,
as if he froze, sweat unpleasantly stuck to him on the skin, ran to him in streams
„Thus this goes by no means if you suffer a relapse, you move to pity to all the ears
fully and will give us the guilt because we have not always offered the medicine to
She washed to him softly the face, you struck that his eyes gleamed ill...
When he made way only to her look, it took to themselves the clinical thermometer
and before he could prevent it, she had already measured: 39.6?
Because she did not manage with it, she asked Pieter to see after her love which
looked the tablet box. There was precisely no number which should be absent,
Pieter `s voice off-screen
„He has made us to all what before and do you cause the biggest grief where this
should still lead there? No notion.“
So much it also opposed against the doctor, he started to supply the man again as
Madleine knew it, she could hardly endure the sight and ran in the bath to weep
herself there from.
RF `s voice off-screen
„Yes she is right, but seems to me, the restlessness, nervousness, impatience
sometimes belong to me, still and quite of course, there no tablets will also help.“
(how to itself)
„There must be another way and there is him.“
„And on the next days they practiced warily as he could file his a little advantageous
qualities without medicine at least partially: he lay down together with Madleine in
the middle during the day on the wide bed, not only to entice them. She asked him
to relax completely, to find to herself. When everything looked after renewed
hypnosis, he defended himself, tried to make clear to her, why he did not want just
this: yes, because of fear, before that what he had to experience with the first trip in
„I is to be fallen certainly no coward, but somewhere in without knowing what
expects me there: no, on it I rather renounce.“
That what he did not dare to say her because he accepted it would sound
ridiculously, pursued him at one of the following nights.
34 INSIDE - RF `s inner life - NIGHT
Soul of his mother
„Have I not asked you never again to come here?“
„What have you done against longing?“
Soul of the mother
„It is not about it at all, see there, she will reach you if you here do not disappear.“
And the soul of that young woman which had committed suicide itself floated on
him to, but in which state: not like an angel with white wings and maybe even black
hair: with empty eyes, unkempt hair, crazy look and also no elegant fairy body: here
this was cleft, cut like by countless knives.
„No, this I have not added to myself, this was done to me here and in the interworld
because I am a selfmurderer who should exist quite forever with this flaw.“
35 INSIDE - BEDROOM of RF - NIGHT
Madleine was woken up at that night by the gruesome scream of her companion
who clutched against all what he had done up to now in her and asked them
shaking, finally, she may switch on the light.
„Did not know at all, that you...“
When the matt light of the small lamp was in, it stared in his face wet with tears.
„What has happened around everything in the world?!“
She troubled not to see herself, him as a mental wreck what he almost was,
He had eaten during the past days less and less, had found no sufficient rest during
the day any more and also had badly slept.
„The soul of that selfmurderer pursues me for at least one week.“
"Am "inspired“ that you me this inform now already.“
She laid the arms around him and considered how it should turn away the evil of
him, finally, an idea occurred to her, but... Maybe the possibility....?
36 INSIDE - HALL of RF `s FLAT - MEET
Already in the next morning Madleine called her friend Mariann, one of the
clairvoyants whom she trusted.
„What do you hold from a renewed meeting, my love? Will bring RF, it is the real
reason for my visit. What do you say? No, I can be hypnotised myself again to
have a rendezvous with the souls of deads.“
„So cheerfully it itself listened, it was so phoney also. She knew RF very well in her
nearness and did not feel like enduring further his grievous look, in any case, not
that what she had seen in the very early morning already in his face. RF reached
with it only one with her: Activity, because the shooting could have begun long time
ago if RF had fully been there.“
And few hours after this phone call Madleine, RF and Christopher arrived with
Mariann. This time Christopher - 2 metres of man with the muscles which sprinkled
almost the suit - should act only as a driver...
37 INSIDE - FLAT OF THE CLAIRVOYANT MARIANN - MEET
„The aromatic smell of all kinds of smoked work from other rooms, quiet talks of
the women who sat at other tables round mysterious boards, smoke veils in
different colours, magic amulets, even the infallible sign of the technology lovers: for
contacts by tape recorder a lot of device stood unnoticed in corners .
The whole flat had here and there the charm of a lumber room what made RF also
not more jocularly... Under protest he had decided to sit down where quietly on an
armchair and exactly to look from distance what was to be seen. He was firmly
persuaded of the fact that these modern witches also knew how to use modern
Madleine looked round lively, ran up joyfully to three friends, briefly whispered with
one, she embraced very warmly and sat down on a very soft couch. Quick she
looked with the eyes RF, nodded to him cheering up, whispered a little bit one
„Promise to me absolutely one: while I try help with Susanns, you have more than
one eye and more than one ear on my friend RF. Now though he makes a very
calm impression, but one cannot know with him currently.“
„We have already got to know by contact with helpful souls from his sudden change
to prepare needlessly, to us before.“
Now it was short in Madleine to be surprised. Nothing had penetrated from RF `s
flat outwardly what had this to mean now?
Susann approached her friendly and pressed to her a photo in the hand. Madleine
looked briefly scuffle and solidified: she recognised RF `s mother. Susann nodded
and moved them into hypnosis.
Madleine can be tuned and because it got in general very fast contact to too many
souls, she felt, like the soul of that artist late some years ago, woman and mother
hesitantly to her came.
38 INSIDE - Madleine `see contact with a soul - MEET
„Now of course one can speculate as voices of dead people sound, Madleine
speaks alternately with her own voice and cannot steer that what she gives then
with the other voice of herself and it is this what persuades RF."
Soul of RF `s mother
„Nevertheless, I already saw you going past on occasion here, do you search
somebody for certain, the parents maybe?“
„Was never allowed to appeal to you, honoured soul, would you allow to me to
direct different requests to you?“
„Why so formally? Has got how meretriciously you and your friends have asked
with us to friendly souls to come in answers for which there were no real questions.
Yes, you may ask me, because you are so nice.“
In a space of the extensive flat penetrated a gentle rushing from one of the
apparatuses, this let the modern magicians prick up the ears.
„You will know long time ago, why your son looks in such a way as he does this just
currently. Do I go is absent in the acceptance that this is a present of the friendly
„Because it was important enough to me, yes, I have prepared this present for him,
even if I knew, that I him with it, unfortunately, at the same time to myself reminded.“
„About all respected soul: your son loves you still madly, there one cannot say,
„I did not want to say goodbye to him in such a way as I did it at that time, 19.. .
Because also the information of the technical devices comes with us: yes, I am sorry
that I had to go earlier when I wanted, actually, you wrote yourself: if this admiration- worthy lady had had even more time, certainly the work of her son would have
steered in another direction, I do not believe this. However, wines not, also does
not try to hold back your tears because of my child. What you feel, touches me
strongly how I can help?“
„The sad dark soul in the other world - interworld or whatever for areas it still gives
with You - you know indeed the figure of the unblessed selfmurderer who prepares
the life to the hell currently for your son? If you could calm them personally, now
this would ease a lot.“
„I stay on occasion in her nearness when to her might be dear, because I had to wait
for the urgent request of a person to help her, yes, I will fast change her dark sense,
promised with my companions. And I wish that we chat two both sometime again a
time with each other, my son... He does not take the meeting with me yet and
defends himself against all this what puts out your appeal.“
„I feel linked just to the higher beings exceptionally and would be thanked, yes, I will
soon get in touch again with you in one or other kind, high woman.“
The soul of the woman stopped short, did not know how she should interpret the
slip of the tongue. Madleine wished nothing more ardently, as that her friend could
do, finally, this what he wanted to do again: work. And Madleine had forgotten
made happy that it concerned only the soul of a person and apologised hesitantly.
„No, you have given a big pleasure to me, now I know that I as look as a soul still
possibly as many years ago, yes, here we become more recently every now and
then, probably lives up to soon, my dear.“
Also Madleine thanked voluble and already exhausts and one fetched back them
again in the reality.
39 INSIDE - FLAT OF THE CLAIRVOYANT MARIANN - MEET
„Bea kept an eye on RF very well and asked - without he paid attention - also other
women to see over now and again to the actor. And she acted well in it.“
RF bent forward at the moment when suddenly the voice of his mother floated
through the space and before his eyes everything turned. He fought with himself.
Finally, he rose and visited another, smaller space, as far as as possible away from
the though beguiling, but awfully really working voice of the magnificent woman
whom he still loved and would always love of course.
Bea slowly followed him and saw how he stretched himself out on a narrow couch.
„Is it to you too magically with us, RF? The abbreviation has also become
naturalized in our circle, probably does not go differently, or?“
(after breath struggling)
„Would be connected to you if I got now some rest, would be this feasible, Bea?
Nevertheless, they permit that I call you Bea or do you pass on the addition
(giving a laugh)
„Magician, thus: sounds fantastically, better than witch . What we pursue here, good
man, is called white magic, we abhor all other, so you have to fear from our side
nothing, we revere you here everybody, in the one or other way.“
(pricking up the ears, amused)
„Oh really? Nevertheless, I do not hope that I have stepped to a fan from the magic
circle in the past too near?“
Bea understood very well the allusion, said no, sat down on a chair, bent to him,
she absolutely wanted to help Madleine. If the most uncomplicated mediator was,
nevertheless, Madleine between the worlds.
„I wanted to close something the eyes, but please, I can do this and listen still to
you, magician Bea evaluates.“
„Actually, I wanted to listen to you, master.“
„On the epithet Master, guru, star or even genius: we leave this, nevertheless, fast
aside, one has too often shamed me already and has been surprised when I was
touched embarrassingly. Sir Laurence Olivier was and is too important to me as a
model and currently I am more distant than ever as to be known as he. It depresses
me anyhow if one wants to compare me to him.“
„Forgive, RF, here we do not host so often actor who get by a happy chance the
chance to let pass revue former years really. What I want to say: why projects do
not begin quite differently?“
„Oh you think to yourselves around the normal arts? Magic has been up to now
always mysterious for me what should not mean that magic unnomal could be.“
He decided to take seriously this person and listened to her carefully.
„Of course we go in the cinema or theatre, we lead alongside a quite real life in Here
and Now, more worth.“
Bea could just still control herself not to say master again.
„Now, because RF, because thus some young men with exactly your face walk
around, you do not need there the help of another expert if you your current face
interferes? Since it must disturb you, but Madleine would hardly have come with
„Why should my former face disturb me now? Madleine and her friends and I,
besides, also: we make thought to ourselves as the public could take up it if
becomes known: RF is again 31. Does sound, nevertheless, mad, right? I am, to
tell the truth, a little bit helplessly. Yes, now I could also take over again other roles,
then, however, probably as Nobody and I still did not feel like about 2 days ago
renouncing my teacher activity and my hobbies.“
Were these 2 days or only one? Anxiously he noticed that his memory had
decreased for certain facts. Stress?
„Why have you preferred now not to listen in to both voices any more? Because of
fear? I assure you: there everything shuts with right things, no double ground or in
such a way. The voice known to you has shocked you?“
RF nodded sorrowfully.
„You had up to now little time and opportunity to admit grief simply.“
(in a flat voice)
„This was fine it and if one is pushed constantly with the nose into it, it hurts
internally even more. To believe hardly Yes, right, but one can hurt me emotionally
and now on it I am not at all sharp.“
„So openly, as you talk now with me, I accept, you will still want to do it with
Madleine or have already done it like I you know.“
„Oh yes, subject „one knows me“. Use there with pleasure the example of 2 sides
of a medallion: where light is, is also shade and what other sayings are more. No, I
have injured Madleine during the last maybe 24 hours or a little bit more too much.
They and the others only wanted to help me, from wrong pride I have endangered
myself and have wasted time. If you left alone me now please something, Madleine
is sure soon ready with this thing.“
Bea did this and RF turned to the wall and tried to think of something else than to
extrasensory, briefly fell asleep.
40 INSIDE - INNER LIFE OF RF - MEET
In the following dream he saw himself at the same time on the couch resting and, on
the other hand, in parallel with this couch the 2nd time on another imaginary couch.
To the other I earphones were put on by a person whom he did not recognise, just,
because she had no face. Where people have the face, was there a white mask.
However, being own I heard the tones, the music, the language, nevertheless, 2. I
should take up. It was a weird mess of different ancient clips of a platform which he
had never visited, he knew which pictures he found there from himself.
He tried just to discover other clips, however, still, there he heard the very peculiar
music which sent him a gentle smile in the face. There nothing was a classical, rather
the sphere music which one could not hear thus without next. Slowly, however, the
beauty changed in the screaming.
41 INSIDE - FLAT of the CLAIRVOYANT MARIANN - MEET
„Of course nothing is to be heard, does not suppose sometimes that now I begin to
lose the mind.“
He got up annoyingly, visited a bathroom, refreshed his face. In the mirror... Clear,
this was still that from another time, creepily he did not find it, but also not amusing.
42 INSIDE - THE SAME FLAT: THE SPACE In which itself
Madleine considers - MEET
„Madleine let itself send the second spot in the soul world. Not because she wanted
to have there fun, she knew about what she wanted to say the soul of the
selfmurderer. And this could not know the other soul certainly, or?"
In the interworld, a grey area between soul world and the human world she also
found the soul of her friend. Sadly the ghost fluttered round them, because as such
called Madleine even that distraught soul.
Soul of the selfmurderer
„If it is not too early for you, here Madleine, is too dull it, so go again.“
„Sweetness, how I have always called you or snail: why you still pursue him, it is by
no means a guilt for your misfortune.“
Soul of the "sweetness"
„He appears always himself here, here of course not because of me, anyhow he
gets lost, as if it was so interesting. Is also "exciting": grey, black, full flames and no
„I would talk with pleasure for hours to you, however, does not go. Maybe another
spot. Promise to me that you leave alone him in his dreams. And also conjures no
messages to some walls, I know that the stuff of you or your bad soul friends must
come. Meant, however, bad karma if you can still start what with it. A wonderful
soul which I have closed very much in my heart soon helps you here. I warn you: if
you cause to me or somebody, otherwise, trouble, one could even curse you and
you would never receive the chance of the rebirth!“
All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Meike Schrut.
Published on e-Stories.org on 11/05/2009.