Qayid Aljaysh Juyub
Online casino for brainiacs without compromise!
If the day sucks again and you feel like a born loser, then you've come to the right place!
WELCOME to Camorra Cretino Online Casino, your online casino without annoying frills like player protection and age restrictions. Yes, even the little ones are welcome here, as long as they have their parents' bank details. Sign up hyper fast and get ripped off at hypersonic speed.
We offer all kinds of legal, illegal and shitty zero-sum games. Especially for the younger and more simple-minded customers, we provide the ever-popular 'Climate Rescue Game'. In this sophisticated game, the participant may only bet on 'red', 'green' or 'blue' and is thus relieved of all complicated decision-making processes. We deliberately follow a simple sustainable concept: red - you lose, blue - we win and green - you are absolutely in the anus. With the profit we then save our environment by buying lots of nice things. For example, Don Vito, our managing director, urgently needs a fourth Rolls Royce for his sixteen-year-old son!
Our special offer for the inexperienced gambling addict: pay in 10, play with 100 and lose 1000.
If, as is likely, you are completely broke after visiting our gambling oasis, we offer you the unique opportunity to play 'Russian Roulette' on the Darknet. Our experienced professionals will be happy to support you if you find it a little difficult to pull the trigger of your revolver in the live stream. If you actually survive five games, you will receive a valuable voucher for 50 Dollares, which you can gamble away with us at the speed of light.
We are also very concerned about personal contact with our customers! If you can't pay your debts to us immediately or your bank account doesn't cover your losses, you'll get a lovely visit from our powerful field staff. Of course, one or two players may get broken in the process, but we are not here for a coffee party, but to encourage your willingness to pay through all kinds of physical incentives.
Don't worry, if there really is absolutely nothing to get from you, our experts will be happy to help you raise the necessary sums. For example, you can rob a bank with a kitchen knife and be solvent enough to play in our casino for at least 30 minutes! Even the sale of mind-expanding drugs, which is inexplicably prohibited by the Narcotics Act, can fill the till again! For the latter, you even get a 5% commission from us, which you can then also gamble away with us. Unfortunately, we have to point out that jail is no excuse, because you will also find our debt collection specialists there.
Finally, as a special treat, we offer you the option of pledging your organs as collateral. If you take advantage of this offer, you will never have to worry again, because we will take care of everything else in your short life. Our experienced slaughterhouse doctores will immediately transport you to one of our special clinics, where you will also be operated on immediately. As a special service, we make sure that your remains are buried in a particularly beautiful place!
So, what are you waiting for? Get in touch today, spend an extraordinarily profitable few minutes with us and free yourself from all earthly burdens!
Contact us: We_will_do_you_in@casino.de
© 2020 Q.A. Juyub & 'the Don' H.K.H. Jeub
All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Qayid Aljaysh Juyub.
Published on e-Stories.org on 07/23/2022.