Qayid Aljaysh Juyub
Grandiose success for Fools For Future of Big Bizz
Another landmark success for the 'apostles of the permanent apocalypse' and their less devout lobby groups that control them. As a result of their petition, which was viewed with favor, the National Assembly is now considering stricter rationing of breathing air as part of the new climate protection law.
About one minute before the deadline for petitions to the absurdist National Assembly, the petition of the remote controlled believers reached the required number of 50000 signatures with an increase of 45000 signatories. This is in no way a manipulation of any kind, but the mystical influence of higher powers, which are fully on world salvation and want to earn mightily from it.
To the general delight of its less than incorruptible members, the absurdist Welfare Committee may now deal with the extremely welcome demands of the pro-government protest movement. Thus, within the framework of the 'proposal', a compulsory general use of breathing air devices with a limited supply of oxygen is to be enforced for the purpose of reducing CO2 emissions.
For totally humanitarian reasons and for the filling of the treasury the acquisition of emission certificates is to be permitted to the citizens to climaticneutrally horrendous prices, so that the better earners among these do not come approximately into respiratory distress; starting from a certain income upper bound naturally any equipment obligation is void, since one may not bother members of the social elite with it to be obstructed by the carrying of an oxygen mask with the rescue of the planet.
The initiator of the petition is the renowned lobbyist Dr. Brandon Bufet, who is currently a convinced supporter of the stupidly dogmatic but useful apostles within the framework of his contracts with the absurdist cabinet, their senile chief puppet and various manufacturers of breathing apparatus.
In the interview with us, the enterprising, New Apostolic doctoral student expressed his confidence that the sales of the companies he represented would increase immensely and that the eternally depleted treasury would be filled by a pleasant flood of additional revenue. After intensive questioning, our interlocutor remarked unusually cheerfully that in the campaign the overall salvation of divine creation would have absolute priority; until further notice and as long as the contracts would not expire, at any rate.
Finally, we (the editors) would like to point out that if you believe climate rescue is necessary, but at the moment bona fide people are being instrumentalized for a really nasty game, then it is probably the pure, unadulterated truth.
© 2021 Q.A. Juyub
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Published on e-Stories.org on 08/04/2022.