04/17/2023
Category "General" (Short Stories in english)
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Harry Schloßmacher

---------------- THE STARTER //Part-1 ------------------

NOTE

At least I am unable to categorize this story. So the main thing is to have fun!! Knowing full well that there is hardly anything more difficult than making people laugh. To exaggerate: one person's humor is another's eulogy. Hope you have fun with it anyway. ############################################################################################

INTERVIEWER: "Why are you waiting here in the waiting room?" MAMA'S SON ERNST: "We are all longingly WAITING for the STARTER! And where better than in the waiting room??" Women: At first only their murmurs, then full screams and finally they are completely "over the moon". Some even rush over to him and give "star kisses" Left-right-right-left-left-left-right-left-right-left Camera teams now rush over to STARTER, who meanwhile is full of women, flowers , trophies, autograph requests, etc., no longer knows how to resist/save ... The STARTER (a scantily clad "two-meter man" and prevented Arnold Schwarzenegger) turns in all directions and is fully posing, as with a "Mr. Universe election". "Just look at me! - Am I not the vision of a STARTER?" Camera teams are now arguing about who is allowed to take pictures first Camera team 1 (head of production now turns to STARTER) "Smile, please!" The STARTER: I would love to do this, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, nothing better than that! My motto in life: (sings) "... always smile and always be happy..." But, I have a sweet and sour secret. And therein lies the problem... (stands up, looks around anxiously and shouts loudly) "First of all, everyone swear that you will never, ever say it again!" All people. "We swear!" The STARTER: "That's too cheap for me! Everyone stand up and repeat after me." All the people in the hall stand up The STARTER We pledge... All the people We pledge... The STARTER the sweet and sour secret... All the people the sweet and sour secret... 3rd man It's more of a difficult birth; a classic difficult birth is that! Shouldn't I get a midwife? The STARTER ...never to betray! All people never ever betray! The STARTER Well then - sit down! Everyone sit down again The STARTER I'll ventilate now... 1. Middle-aged woman But it's about time, STARTER! 4th man Right, STARTER, right! There's a haze here... I'm a militant non-smoker... and I also insist on airing here! The STARTER I am now revealing...finally and definitively...my sweet and sour secret. Well, as fate would have it: I left my "third" in the cleaning bath... now you know and I'm glad it's out.. All the people laugh themselves half to death STARTER (sobbing) Actually, I'm sooooo shy and such a quiet guy, you won't believe it 2. Elderly woman: But here, me. Can you all see me? Here! I believe you. Really, I believe you. It's true, they seem to me like a... well, let's say, like an unworldly milk boy who has just escaped from the mother's womb. STARTER At school I had the lead "Very good"! 2. Young man I can't tell by looking at you. You really don't look like it, Mr.! You seem rather frightening to me The STARTER ... even when I'm supposed to express my wishes at the food buffet, I'm overcome with hellish stage fright. Then my whole body trembles! 2. Elderly woman That's horrible! No, how horrible. Oh, how I feel about you... Der STARTER: So far I've only swung toasts and told people a lot about horses. But - believe me - I outwitted myself. I've become so uninhibited... and already I had the biggest performance of my life! (Loud applause and whistles erupt) I'm not used to this crowd... (Sobs again) I'm touched, deeply touched. You're all so nice to me... Camera team 1 (senior manager excited to the lighting technician) Take my handkerchief out of your pocket and finally wipe his tears! Folks (in chorus) Action! Action! Where is the action!? Where is the action!?

(To be continued)

All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Harry Schloßmacher.
Published on e-Stories.org on 04/17/2023.