Liza Wick

Talking to the mirror

You never thought you could find a person again who makes you laugh and smile and makes your day just by saying Good morning or smiling at you. But you did find that person.
When youīre in school you are with the people you love and care for. As soon as you are home you are not. Most people are lucky to have that one person right beside them at home who makes them laugh and smile and care. You donīt. So what are you supposed to do about it? At least you are lucky to have that person in your life, only that this personīs world is not yours really.
But does this matter? Isnīt it just important that you have a special person, no matter in which way? 
It gets lonely sometimes but then again there are times where you can fly so high, so why trying to let go? Why not just hold on, cherish every moment spent and just keep everything in your heart? All smiles, words, gestures... Just everything that touched your heart and soul.
Who are people to judge? Donīt they understand how precious all of this is to you?

You lost so many people you cared for so deeply , some are gone forever, some just donīt care anymore about you.
And even though the new journey has just begun you are scared already again to lose what you love so much. Scared that someone, something might change what you have tried to achieve.

You are so sensitive, you hear every word said, even if it is not said at all. You want to hold on to every moment forever, always paying attention, always searching for that special moment to secure it forever in your heart.

Tears do come so easily these days. Tears of joy, tears of fear.

The most difficult thing is to not be able to tell the people you love and care for how you feel. To always keep all feelings bottled up...

Maybe you just have to give it time...

Maybe you will always be alone with your thoughts and feelings but if you think about it, would it be that bad? It is you that matters, your feelings, your mood and whatever makes you happy is alright.
So, why donīt you tell the truth? Why donīt you try people and tell them the real story behind all these words your finding for covering up your emotions?
What have you got to lose? A friendship? If a friend does not understand or at least accept your real story, then what kind of a friend is he or she?
How much lonelier can you become? How much more can it hurt? Youīre shutting yourself out of the world, always trying to show the best of you. Always trying to make other people happy and to make them believe you are happy.
I can see youīre lonely and youīre tired of having to hide your feelings. I know you cannot tell the person you would so much love to know the truth. But maybe there is someone out there, who would understand? Who would stand by you? Even if you told the complete story?
I know you are not ready to do it, you are trying to get someone to see the truth behind all these words you are using. You hope that someone will find out by themself.
Do you really think this can work? You used to be so brave, always expressing your thoughts, your wishes. Why is it so hard for you to do it this time?
Think about it. And talk to somebody... Not just me, the mirror...

All rights belong to its author. It was published on by demand of Liza Wick.
Published on on 12/16/2007.


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