Meike Schrut

Broken dreams (11)

Scene                                                                      WHERE - EXACTLY WHERE - TIME OF DAY

50                                                                INSIDE - FLAT OF MARIANNE - MEET

                                                                                  THE SECOND NARRATOR

                             „Maybe it is the number 50 that I may appear here, worth readership.   
                              Possibly, however, it is only one pretty round number. My  
                              predecessor  was not dismissed, at given time he will get opportunity to rise again in the 
                              history. IT is such a word, as if there may be no female narrator. For it there will be the 
                              female voice from him On the other side, no reason for the panic, because how already 
                              magnificent Edgar Allan Poe said:
                             „Is everything not what we see and seem, only one dream within a dream?
                              One can express it also with the words of another man:

                                            „Any scene reminds always in a little bit and was there already once.“

                              Maybe the voice does not come also really from On the other side, in any case, it 
                              would be to be heard in a film: awfully, sadly, daringly, however, also cheeky and 
                              audaciously, impertinently, the whole palette of the human emotions. Not enough 
                              action? For the people who need dead people also in a book on every 4th side these 
                              Scenen are nothing, there will be dialogues about which one can think, but does not 
                              have to go. However, one may accept emotions. The stolen sentence could have been 
                              said by any other person, really he comes from a conversation with an actor who must 
                              not write his screenplay scenes to himself, or does he do this occasionally, nevertheless?

                              This screenplay history - the screenplay exists of scenes which can be changed over  
                              and over again, but then only by the author themselves. And every person is his own 
                              director, cameraman / Mrs. and scriptwriter, one writes the history of his own life 
                              himself. There remains put there whether there could be the film which the acting people 
                              want to fancy spiritually slowly and if it only is first to help RF.
                              The author Poe may have suffered in his real life so that he might fancy even creepy  
                              stories and he would be able to see the film-maker today over the shoulder, he would 
                              maybe say: “Must one get all grief which seems in books also presented?“
                              Why about 2022. Removed far enough from the reality and also enough distance to that  
                              man over whom Marianne just broods, full doubts, some fear, however, rather also 
                              surprise. And just: 20 years after the original film "Spider" . Though Marianne and RF 
                              joke, but of course not in pejorative way. RF was real also 60 years, however, could 
                              change externally, real people get at most the chance to become immortal by her art. 
                              And Ralph Fiennes is still real in 2022 if he also does not so come along simply as 
                              fictitiously described.“

                              2 days after the entertainment between Marianne and RF there rings the doorbell. 
                              Though the intention has to go itself for Marianne, RF is quicker, opens and hardly  
                              trusts to his eyes: he is confronted himself. Of course nonsense, but when he saw few 
                              days ago in the mirror, his face, up to the eyes was almost precisely just exactly. 
                              Dumbfounded he asks the visitor in, one cannot leave Ralph Fiennes outdoors, 
                              moreover, it has started to rain. Early in the morning. 9 o'clock is the suitable time to 
                              have breakfast and RF automatically lays the table for the guest who finds this anyhow 
                              amusing: he said nothing, expressed no wish, however is greeted.

                              The greeting precipitates a little bit economically, because of the surprise. When the  
                              persons present have calmed down something, Marianne RF on the hall asks.

      51                                                              INSIDE - HALL in Mariannes flat - MEET
                                                                         (beside oneself)
                             „I have always known that you are just on it like Madleine: yesterday spiritually inclined, 
                              has called him and has asked sometimes, so besides, for his visit?“

                             „If I never ventured, he must get wind have from our plans, no notion as he has made 
                              this, but we do not want to give him the feeling, we would talk behind his back, he has 
                              experienced long enough with other opportunities.“

       52                                                                 INSIDE - SITTING ROOM of Marianne - MEET

                              Ralph Fiennes feels of course the light strain which lies about the small society, he does  
                              not invite himself also so often somewhere, but he had promised Marianne this visit 
                              already since some time, became time that he redeems this promise.

                              RF also feels the look of the just arrived.

                                                                                  RF `s voice off-screen
                             „Would like to be able to guess too with pleasure your thoughts, my appearance must  
                              not be disagreeable to me, but now so probably I also do not feel.“

                              RF looks something irritated to Madleine which has won her usual cheerfulness again 
                              and  looks at the come curiously, she does not fix him, she answers his open look which 
                              you trust and seem, hence, pleasant.

                                                                                  Madleine `s voice off-screen
                             „Possibly it was that what she has at least anticipated: if he appeared somewhere, it was 
                              difficult to close mind to his at first open friendly kind, the close came much later and 
                              has some reasons.“

                                                                                  Fiennes` voice off-screen
                             „If my day is not maybe today, she should have asked whether it is right to her that I 
                              come. I would virtually meet at the table - only this is younger the other - this is 
                              sometimes what completely new and probably unique. Mariannes friend possibly, 
                              because her brother might be possibly at my age.“

                             „If now I may already answer the not put question: no, RF is my brother, I could not 
                              recognise him himself immediately. And before you think, I joke, unfortunately, this is 
                              no joke, can also explain nobody to me like this it happened.“

                             „Must make him, nevertheless, contented, or?“

                              The embarrassed silence was not necessarily that what the actor had expected.

                             „You will not hold it for possible, honoured master, but he envies you because he too 
                              often feels the disadvantages internally.“

                              Ralph Fiennes had the master studiously in such a way leave, a look which one could 
                              call equivocal hung up.

                             „I am sorry, RF, did not want to come close to you to what has happened, one would 
                              call extraordinary, rather not than tragically.“

                              His very quiet melodic voice which he had consciously held back and had formed 
                              not  so  hard as on the stage caused that Marianne leant calmly to the back and also 
                              noted that the other were also better substantially. Strangely how he knew again how to 
                              pull listener in his spell and in Madleine the words of HER reverberated that she held 
                              him  for a magician of the words and moods who knew to master every situation 

                              Ralph got on at this moment rather not than magician or master. If a man so dissatisfied 
                              with his new constitution came along, it required certainly more than one explanation,  
                              but  it did not lie to him to question any person directly. Answers can be found, sooner 
                              or later, whether by chance or the need to divide something with to him.


                             „Marianne still heard out: an indiscernible shivering in his voice which could not be noted 
                              from other because it was known only to her. He did not show up in his heart if he did 
                              not hold it for right. He played the other to the very sure people, very well, but just this 
                              time not perfectly, so he was tired, too tiredly in addition. Marianne had already 
                              exhausted him and had perceived tiredly when he visited them alone, no more advice 
                              knew. The more he had opened to her, the more she saw behind his facade from 
                              calmness, deliberate coarseness if one irritated him. He had to give no cheeky sayings 
                              to the best in her present. She cleared the throat, " I am sorry"  this , yes, it was real, 
                              but  to her it was disagreeable and she not even knew which is why. Though Ralph 
                              Fiennes was an extremely good actor, but she had been able to see the vulnerable 
                              person in him only few times very clear: on a photo of 2008 and at few personal 

                             „I anticipate, why you have gone past today, Ralph. So.“

                              And she passed to him the screenplay which he did not want to hold though at all in the 
                              hands, but he looked at them a little bit pinched, it took with one hand with the others 
                              he stroked to her softly a strand from the face.

                                                                                  Ralph `s voice off-screen
                             „She might be more or less the only woman who had talked to me in the conscience 
                              with the sentence if I want to have my life well-balanced, I must already jump about my 
                              shade and ignore sometimes the work. Fear? I have that
                              in her eyes never seen if I her met and spoke. She smiled at me strangely when I said, I 
                              would still have to bring urgently what to an end, almost always I accepted the next 
                              thing  immediately. I had promised only to her to spare me and till present has not 
                              Only because of her I am not able on too many days to see laxly in the mirror how 
                              many person have I disappointed then else so accidentally?“

                              Marianne looked at him also this time anxiously, asked him for a conversation less than 
                              4  eyes, he nodded.

                              They stepped on the balcony, the sun seemed again and so coldly it was not.

      53                                                                  OUTSIDE BALCONY of Mariannes flat - MEET

                             „If it did not want to say you before other, you look too tired to me, as if you have 
                              hardly slept.“

                             „Would be a miracle if this had escaped you, lets me read some moments in the  

                             „You know which you must catch up from no one a permission, they give them to you 

                                                                         (puts out of tune)
                             „Do not start please with such a nonsense.
                              A person whom one it decreases to ask in whom one gives him before what he needs 
                              what is in your eyes worth?“

                             „You know exactly what you worth is.“

                             „I have not meant this and you also know it.“

                              Marianne tried to his look to stand firm what was not easy for her. She gave fast that, 
                              nevertheless, for her was cold, besides, she sweated visibly more. Cold sweat
                              ran down to her the back, so were 2 states all at once, a state too much.

                              They further talked in the sitting room from which the other people had gone away as if  
                              these anticipated that Marianne with him alone wanted to talk.

      54                                                                  INSIDE - SITTING ROOM OF MARIANNE - DAY

                             „I did not want to start you, you look timid something. If you freeze, one can remedy 

                                                                                   Ralph `s voice off-screen
                             „If was privately the first time that I could frighten you, should have dressed a little more 
                              warmly, my caring cat. Though do not say that I should lie down something because 
                              you know, I make all decisions myself, but would have taken amiss I of it you also not.“

                              Marianne saved himself an answer, she allowed that he reached for a cover and rubbed 
                              them warmly.

                                                                                   Marianne `s voice off-screen
                             „ And how do I come out now of this number? He still rubs to me the skin under it.“

                              Of course she dealt doubt, just now the wrong when it took the cover, nevertheless, still  
                              from the hand from him and kissed him carefully, besides, now, nevertheless, before 
                              fear closed the eyes.

                             „On her lips the beguiling aroma of whole East seemed to be united. Amazedly he pulled 
                              them though at himself, however, could not answer the kiss straight away. She was 
                              about  20 years younger than he. WHOM she had internally before himself, the „English 
                              patients“, duke from "the duchess“, the pitiful "spider", everybody together and still 
                              some more of the figures to which he had breathed life or only him who was privately 
                              possibly in such a way, as she did not fancy him: just no more quite young, but also not 
                              violently and rather in such a way as he had himself with pleasure in the „everlasting 
                              gardener„ in recollection: absolutely caring around the woman troubles whom he tried 
                              to love.“

                             „What or do whom you see, actually, in me?“

                             „So that I understand this properly: now you cannot answer this harmless kiss with 
                              which I wanted to ask you, actually, for forgiveness, yes, to me was not just cold. In  
                              any case not only, rather hotly and coldly at the same time because I did not want to 
                              annoy you. I try you to shorter step to move because I love you, you not even notice it 
                              and play too well the distrustful. Oh rather: you have to play him not at all urgently, you 
                              are also distrustful towards me, quite "great" thing.“

                             „Marianne had considered of course and really had said the truth. For them he was level 
                              not the figure he in each case had to play. To her the too employed man had become 
                              too important when she could allow that he was directed bit by bit to reason and he 
                              was the person whom she wanted to have for the rest of her days beside herself. The 
                              everlasting mistrust had taken note of them with big regret and had resigned itself,  
                              actually, to the fact that to him her present had to make no difference quite. She wanted 
                              to free herself of him because you became conscious own gleaming before tears eyes 
                              and she herself hated this small weakness in herself. Softly he put them on the Coatch, 
                              sat down beside her and laid his slender hand on theirs. Why to him the duke from "the 
                              duchess“ came so suddenly to the sense, he not even knew it. In the film one still left  
                              and  fetch back „the piece once again“, this moment from which one anticipated that 
                              one  had committed a mistake. And ordinarily he did not become engrossed behind in 
                              any role, around himself with the figure which he had played to get, so to speak, advice, 
                              so with itself. Mariann waited patiently as if it anticipated that it had met him just at a 
                              very sensitive place. He cannot be held with pleasure the mirror before."

                             „Forgive if I must take first of all, so to speak, a breath. Of course I accept your excuse, 
                              no problem. The definition of love should not really be this what I had to give as duke in 
                              "the duchess“ from myself, this was: in the kind in which I understand love would be too 
                              cheap to you and not was also honest towards you. I am no one which can be easily 
                              persuaded, for it I have already experienced too much strange and then to him one also 
                              has fast the little coat with label „I love you“ around hung Before what I would be 
                              afraid - if I admitted the word fear in my usage privately and the word is quite 
                              embarrassing enough for me, then before it: somebody could suffocate me emotionally 
                              before nothing but „you must be every day with me and I have no understanding for....“

                                                                                   Ralph `s voice off-screen
                             „I would stalk once so around with words to believe hardly. She must think... Yes what 
                              curses then.... What she could think.“

                             „Can I expect from you that you take my quite bad habits calmly there and not even 
                              complain if I must be sometimes for myself?“

                             „Then we are too unlike to each other not all. What do I have from a man who almost 
                              dies from boredom, me wants to control and, for the rest, can be maybe not at all loyal?“

                             „I hope, you would not smell an affair with every female fan, should give really still very 
                              young women who have forgotten apparently which passes the time, also for me.“

                              She looked at him leniently...

                             „What one could wish both people splendidly. Marianne will want to get to know him 
                              maybe better or also not, will possibly touch down different-coloured instead of the 
                              rose glasses, but the future can foresee Marianne only in the fictive history with all the 
                              other people on her side whether there now real people were indicated or not.... But at 
                              this point it becomes a time for my predecessor who was already bored and wanted to 
                              forbid to me more than once the word. And again would be mentioned, what Richard 
                              Burton when author about said in the „fright of the Medusa“: „I am not responsibly for 
                              what my figures say.“ There has been a dialogue in addition, he is also insignificant here, 

55                           Two days ago...

                                                                            INSIDE - FLAT of RF - MEET

                                                                                   THE FIRST NARRATOR
                             "Thank me very much for the vacation, but now it can go on with me.
                              Ralph and Marianne have been occupied so totally with himself that the screenplay 
                              questions also came in 2 days something for succumbing. Then Marianne occurred 
                              what she had still read in the screenplay."

                                                                                   Marianne `s voice off-screen
                             „Madleine `see the dead friend who delivered the sketches which one can with difficulty 
                              remove from the screenplay, without Ralph it would get. But now just they are just 
                              determined not for his eyes. From which year were the sketches? In 2005? I have also 
                              forgotten, since when Madleine completely cleverly the manner of writing of HER 
                              accepted, the exact day of the accident should fall absolutely under the table and I also 
                              anticipate why.“

                              Madleine which could stay with RF also like Ralph with Marianne in the gigantic flat of 
                              RF, without they disturbed each other, was in one of the sitting rooms and looked at 
                              Marianne questioningly.

                             „Has been tremendously competent that you have already devoured the screenplay, it  
                              reads a little bit hard, or?“

                             „Try you, Ralph - when he also liked to read the book what I go out from - to 
                              explain, why we the first 10 sides and all this of what SHE informed you alone 
                              apparently  and what hides in indications guaranteed still somewhere are to be found, 
                              had  to remove. It becomes the remarks „to spare you“ or „to make to you right now 
                              the  life not hard“ with one of his different kinds ignore to smile and want to take the 
                              book so as it was intended originally: as a declaration of love for RF or for whom then 
                              still everything.? We cannot steal the sides, but then he might not read the whole book 
                              what act.“

                              The women had not noted that Ralph could listen to fairly long time because he 
                              searched by chance what in the space.

                             „Right now I do not suppose that your both women really these sides wanted to 
                              distinguish out and had said me: „yes, this also has before we it took in hand, thus 
                              looked.“ Astonishingly how many people underestimate me. Do you believe, I would 
                              like  to be packed into cotton, Marianne?“

                              Marianne heard very well an offended undertone out and passed the unscathed 
                              screenplay with him to him as she found, to superfluous sides before the real action.
                              Ralph made a theatrical bow to her to hide his annoyance, the book had a look first of 
                              all  thus: on an average from the width and if it was rather on an average from the 
                              contents, if he otherwise used his time.
                              He lay down comfortably, half he sat, half he lay on the Coatch like on occasion if he 
                              wanted to make the first thoughts to himself.

                                                                                   Ralph `s voice off-screen
                             „Does not understand the whole excitement of the girls, RF transmitted it, so he has read 
                              it, nevertheless, also completely or possibly not?“

                                                                                   Voice of the writer of the screenplay off-screen
                             „Then you can get dear Madleine, I know that you wanted to have only the incomplete 
                              idea with some vague indications and notes also the backgrounds, maybe you can start 
                              with the tips „to photo from.... from the year.... “what, I do not leave you with pleasure  
                              in  the unclear.“

                             „Ordinarily read Ralph personal notes - what just belonged to no ready written work - 
                              either never or if, then with greatest care and thoughtfulness before the sender. The time 
                              remained rare to him to see this by, even if there an idea was included which he had not 
                              known thus.“

                                                                                    Voice of the writer of the screenplay off-screen
                             „I know that the person who should start what sometime with my stuff can understand 
                              impossibly how much time has passed, from the first sentence up to the last. Has written 
                              as a young girl Gijom and M., then this is then also with with, in addition, however, 
                              later. I have not produced the photos of course myself, once again the worldwide net 
                              was the best counsellor. I slowly curse the ominous day in which I discovered exactly 
                              that male face which nights sleepless me had prepared.Ich annoyed me about a certain 
                              sentence of that man who had never to write apparently a line to any screenplay himself. 
                              And the story with the magic mirror which takes parts of the man with itself whom I I 
                              pretended to love also began when I just saw the photo. Dealt to you earlier exact 
                              notes about the web page hand over, superfluously the 2nd time. Your time must be 
                              also limited with all great experiences, wished, I could be present the last time with such 
                              a trip. Why the last time? Now, my worth doctor advised me one of the rotten 
                              therapies   from which I would never recover where now my lifetime is limited, I write 
                              every remaining minute or almost. Look at these lines as communications from On the 
                              other side if you may. You know me or knew me: the godfather death comes with me 
                              on  a donkey ridden towards in the form of a very dear actor whom I also revered. 
                              Yes,  admiration is also the suitable word for the man whose name I circumscribe who 
                              also showed the other, to the types without name. If the story found terribly boringly 
                              and  if one is sorry the villain again, the role was probably a wrong decision, well, one 
                              should control his facial play, always.“

                                                                                    Voice of Ralph off-screen
                             „If we accept sometimes, both women and RF want to have recognised at this point the 
                              man as me. Yes, I could question Madleine and Marianne and also RF, until I have got 
                              out every insignificant detail, time waste and maybe also unnecessary excitement. The 
                              type without name - the dark lord, stands neither who played him, nor why the facial 
                              play  was bad here. I have said sentences many, during every interview countless and 
                              just so many were written down. She will have got something in the wrong neck. 
                              Defiance of death of her quite remarkably, follows about everything and anything 
                              whether everything is real, will still have to turn out.“

                                                                                     Voice of the writer of the screenplay off-screen
                             „He will ask himself at this point whether I could have possibly meant him, provided, he 
                              would even read a line. However, this may never happen, promise it to me and it is no 
                              loose gossip if I confess: I could see films with him either not yet, has seen different half, 
                              only once, the enough one. I do not like crying men if they go for one in the reality on 
                              the  wick and in the film it may be the quite big final chord. Quite slowly I felt in myself 
                              break something, simply in such a way, I have to be able to suffer the actor for his kind 
                              or to have to go not only beloved. I hated him. Now even no explanation does not find 
                              question me why, more."

                             „Ralph slowly came along on a supplement notes. At least, he still played and he had fun 
                              in the work, wanted to have also further. If she saw him so and hatred and love 
                              perceived together possibly felt it also other in such a way, only he did not listen there 
                              any more thus. He pulled through his thing, indeed with a timetable which only he knew 
                              and he wanted to determine departure and arrival always alone. The suffering look? 
                              When this had exactly begun, did he not know, nevertheless, himself any more, did 
                              contradictory figures possibly interest him also because of her weaknesses and he had 
                              felt embarrassed for no tear, at the beginning.? As far he had to decrease then if he 
                              wanted to get out what other people about him thought."

                                                                                     Voice of the writer of the screenplay off-screen
                             „I have your question anyhow already in the ear, my love. The worldwide net also 
                              supplied me richly with infos and although I for the man, (to whom I dedicate anyhow 
                              the screenplay, thus as thanks for each of my tears or for my enthusiasm, my surprise 
                              like  he denied itself often, it seemed to me, in any case, thus) hatred and love, better no 
                              love "only" admiration feels, I allowed to myself to look at the sides high and under it, 
                              the  young and older man, his voice, his facial play, his gesture. One virtually creeps in 
                              such a person, understand properly. The jigsaw puzzle for what he planned sometimes 
                              (film clip) flew only in such a way, afterwards I do not forget so fast: the old man helps  
                              the sick person again in the house, so that can calm down there inside. If was thus the 
                              only help which "spider" got, to me became uncanny expects.“

                                                                                     Ralph `s voice off-screen
                             „Finally, the hot track, so at least in "spider" I could be enough for her high claims, with  
                              it my worth name might have excited her attention something. Whether the jigsaw puzzle 
                              stood now in the screenplay or not, now is absolutely unimportant. Around sky will: 
                              awfully, well, at least what.“

                             „Ralph noticed very well how he recurred internally. Almost joy arose in him, even if 
                              "spider" was to be looked not jocularly. Joy not, it was a black humor and just this 
                              drove him to read further.“


All rights belong to its author. It was published on by demand of Meike Schrut.
Published on on 11/07/2009.


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