Gerry Shorey

Tales from the Pumpkin Patch: The Strange Tale of B Bennoit

Peter, oh Peter, he was the pumpkin eater
and had a wife but he wouldn't feed her. He locked her in a pumpkin shell,
and there she died under his spell

Good evening:  Welcome to to another nights story from" Tales from the Pumpkin Patch".  This story was personally told to me by the legendary news reporter "Ace" Hunter.  Dear Uncle Arthur passed away ten years ago on this very night of October 31, 2040.
                                          Chapter One:  Bessborough City is Abuzzin                                   
  From beautiful Prince Albert, Home of the late Primeminister John Diefenbaker, to Congress Saskatchewan, Canada, excitement was brewing as classmates from all across Canada were coming to the one-hundredth anniversary of Perciful High.  This special once-in-a-life-time-event was to be on the August fifth weekend.  The communities of Dewar and Mainlandia were agog and delirious with marked excitement for Benatrice Bennoit, wife of the late Perciful Bennoit was to be given the keys to the City of Bessborough for her outstanding dedication towards the literary arts; but, six weeks prior to that August 5th weekend, Benatrice Bennoit, age 104 was dead.  It was my Uncle, "Ace", Arthur Hunter whom she last spoke to.(Apologies are made to the late Benatrice Bennoit:  never end a sentence with a preposition.)

Chapter 2:  Arthur Makes a Pronouncement

              Our story begins when my uncle in 1965, a grade-eight student of Pinafore Public School of Mainlandia Community of Victoria Avenue and Dale Street (just east of Shockley Blvd.), was invited to what he described as a socio-study of a great and beloved woman.  Mrs. Bennoit had invited Arthur, Peggy, Henry II and several other studnets to her home.  She wished to have with them a debate:  Should the government of Canada execute the death penalty?Benatrice went around the circle.  All the students agreed that Canada should abolish the death penalty.  The students agreed, save one--Arthur Hunter.  Uncle Arthur boldly looked at the face of Benatrice and said, "Hang them, hang them high."  Benatrice replied, "My dear Arthur, you have a murderous heart."
                She then arose from her chair and excused herself.  Benatrice stated she had some business to attend upstairs.  As she climbed the stairs with the lettuce brought over from Peggy's mother's garden Benatrice cried "I'm going to put this in my upstairs fridge.  I'll be right back dears."
                "You know why," said Arthur, why she wants the death penalty abolished."
                "Why does she execute the death penalty Arthur" giggled Peggy with a broad grin on her face.
                "It's perfectly clear.  She is a muderous and has someone buried in the upstairs of this house."
                 "More biscuits and tea children?" smiled Benatrice.  Had she heard him?  Sweat poured down Arthur's face. 
                "What's the matter dear?" You look, my dear boy, positively ill!"  
                "Children, I have so enjoyed each and everyone of you tonight.  I have enjoyed the exuberance of your youthful minds and of tonight's debate; and, I look forward to being your tutor and guide for the next four years at Perciful High."
                Arthur was not so certain; but, before more was said, Benatrice looked at her watch and abruptly killed the party.  "Oh, how late the hour children and  I have much week-end marking to do of all my students assessments on the madness of  Lady Macbeth.  Additionally, my brightest students, I have a class held for the gifted), are doing an analysis of  my class-room text, first published in 1941 on 'How I hate Moor.'  Adieu, children, adieu; and a good night to you dear Arthur.  See you in the autumn of the year."
                 Arthur and Peggy ran quickly down the steps, toward the street to catch the number 13 Happy Hills Bus home.
                    "Do you think she heard me?" inquired Arthur.
                     "She was standing right behind you goofus," laughed Peggy.  But don't worry Arthur, she winked at me.  I know she likes you."
                   "I hope so, Peggy, I hope so."
                     This concludes tonights story from "Tales from the Pumpkin Patch, the Strange Tale of Bennatrice  Bennoit.  I retire now to Bedlam.  Pleasant dreams:  Until next time:  "Good night, sleep tight--and don't let the bed-bugs bite."  Until next time.  
Signed:  The Reporters Nephew

to be continued:  next edition


Tales from the Pumpkin Patch: The Strange Tale of B. Bennoit.

Hi folks:

Tales from the Pumpkin Patch--The Strange Tale of B. Bennoit is to be written as a serial.

This story is dedicated in memory of Miss B. She instilled in me, a "double-bluer" a love for English Literature. Some-times I felt she pushed me on a personal level--too hard! but, I was grateful to her.

I am pleased to inform all my readers that no murder ever took place at the "double-blue"school in Saskatchewan, Canada--unless it was the murder of the English language itself.

To all my teachers of the good old double blue--I thank you for your dedication; and to my class-mates--I hope yours was a beautiful life.

I'm sorry I couldn't make it to our 100 Anniversary, but I had to go to Perciful High in Bessborough City. Trust things went better at your reunion, than they did at my Uncle Arthurs.


the reporters Nephew
Authors comment


All rights belong to its author. It was published on by demand of Gerry Shorey.
Published on on 09/27/2010.


Comments of our readers (0)

Your opinion:

Our authors and would like to hear your opinion! But you should comment the Poem/Story and not insult our authors personally!

Please choose

Previous title Next title

Does this Poem/Story violate the law or the submission rules?
Please let us know!

Author: Changes could be made in our members-area!

More from category"Humour" (Short Stories)

Other works from Gerry Shorey

Did you like it?
Please have a look at:

Sir Dudley Whuppin - Gerry Shorey (Humour)
Heaven and Hell - Rainer Tiemann (Humour)
A Long, Dry Season - William Vaudrain (Life)