Greg Miller

Land of Rocks and Stones Holds Election

 © 2012



Itty Bitty Rock was tiny, but he wasn’t shy about proclaiming his strength to the world.


“My muscles are stronger than the muscles of any other rock in the world!,” he beamed.


“I wouldn’t say that,” chuckled Mrs. Itty Bitty Rock. “But they sure are handsome muscles. They are the muscles with which I fell in love.”


Itty Bitty Rock’s best friend, Teenie Tiny Stone, believed his muscles were the biggest and strongest in the Land of Rocks and Stones. “I’m very proud of my muscles,” said Teenie Tiny Stone. “They make me the super hero of this community.”


Teenie Tiny Stone and Itty Bitty Rock were candidates in their community’s presidential election. Local rocks and stones had been keeping track of their human counterparts ‘ presidential debates. So Itty Bitty Rock and Teenie Tiny Stone agreed to their own series of debates.


Political parties did not exist in the Land of Rocks and Stones, so all candidates ran as independents. Election campaigns only lasted for one week. So following four days of media advertising and traveling the bumpy campaign trail, debates were held over the next three days.


Both candidates spent every available moment practicing for the debates. The first debate was held in the stadium where the community’s football teams played its home games. Itty Bitty Rock, through his humor and charisma, handily won the debate.



Teenie Tiny Stone spent the first five minutes of the second debate enjoying a short nap. This debate was held in the studios of the local television station. Teenie Tiny Stone narrowly won this debate by focusing on the economy. He attributed the win to energy he received from his nap.


The third debate was hosted by a local church that was known for its love of the Lord Jesus Christ. Both candidates accepted the offer of the church’s minster, Pastor Rockie Rockee, to moderate the debate.


The annual budget was the primary topic of the debate. The candidates spoke deliberately and forcefully about how they would solve the community’s economic woes.

Each candidate took advantage of the opportunity to make a closing statement. Itty Bitty Rock went first. “My solution to the economy is to pray that God will bring healing to our fiscal problems,” he said.


Teenie Tiny Stone agreed, then added, “Without God, our economy will continue to sink. But I believe God wants us to participate in the solution.”


“What do you mean?,” asked Itty Bitty Rock.


“We must stop printing and spending so much money,” Teenie Tiny Stone replied. “Or all the money in the world couldn’t buy a solution to the problem!”


To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraisers and/or puppet ministry, please email










All rights belong to its author. It was published on by demand of Greg Miller.
Published on on 10/27/2012.


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