Need

I slowly turned over onto my right and softly said

"Hey, babe.  Happy anniversary. "

The blanket shifted slightly and then settled into place.

"Ssshh," said the midnight whisperer in my head. "She's still sleeping."

"But it's our anniversary, and I'm feeling...needy."

"Is that really what you want to give her the first minute five minutes of your anniversary day?
The adult channel guide is in the drawer to the leffft." 

"That won't do it...this time.  It's been a  long time and my body is screaming for..contact..and.I.."

" I'm well aware of your need",  answered the voice in my head.

"How long has it been since you vacationed?" 

"More than five years.  You know that."

"And what have you learned in your thirty plus years of marriage as to what she wants, what she needs from you?"

"Do you even know how long it's been since we physically..."?

Whisper waited and then...

"Whose fault is that, buddd?  Again, what is the most precious thing she needs, the thing that she considers most valuable?"

"Shut up," I said.

Silence.   Then.."Hhmm?"

"To put her needs above my own."

"And what is that at this very moment?"

"But what about my nee..?

"Your need is great..right?  What you want is to have at her, mess her up, use her, make her cry out with passion and fill her up with the essence of YOU."
"Yes.  All that."

"And her need?  Look at her."

I gently pushed her blanket aside off her face.  She was snoring softly, head buried in the goose down pillow.  Her light gray hair covering her cheek, lit by the muted tv. She had spent yesterday pulling out weeds from the garden, mopping all the  floors and doing three loads of laundry.

"Sleep." I said to the Midnight Whisper.
"She needs...sleep."

"So..what cha gonna do, budd?"

I gave her one last look.  Thirty four years with that face. I shook my head and gently replaced the blanket over her.

I turned over and slowly opened the drawer to the left.

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