Richard Rodriguez




Sorry if this sounds like the start of a bad joke. but a funny thing happened to me as I entered Heaven. I bumped into Hitler. That's right! The "Sieg Heil, Mein Kampf, German Shepard loving Adolf Hitler". I mean like. What The Fuck! Right? Granted, before I shuffled off my mortal coil. The only thing I knew about Hitler, he was short, sported a comical mustache, Charlie Chaplin once spoofed him in a movie, and a black man, competing in the nineteen thirty-six Munich Olympics, shattered, like a mirror being dropped, his ideology of the Aryan race being the Ubermensch or Superman. Oh, and he was a horrible dude in a war a couple of decades before my birth.

Now... Please forgive me if this feels like I am making light of arguably one of the most horrific Cult of Personalities of all times, but having been born and raised in America, we tended to only worry about the "relevance of the moment". In any case, as I passed through the Pearly Gates, I slammed into him. My first thought, I am in the wrong place. Then I noticed Gandhi canoodling with Mother Theresa so using that as an indicator, I figured that I am in the right place. I looked down at him with a befuddled look, while his mirrored gaze reflected a resigned understanding. After all, this not being his first time the focus of my particular stare.

After a moment I found my thoughts, leading me to lay into him. I mean to use my soapbox to get on to my high horse and let him have it. Suddenly, a deluge of memories, belonging to Hitler filled me as mine him, as if in an asymmetry of consciousness. This encounter solved the riddle of how he happened to be in the Empyrean, by thrusting me back thru time and space, landing me like the proverbial fly on the wall in a Berlin bunker in nineteen forty-five.


She did not understand the dichotomy of hers; A love which Mercilessly controlled her and a religion which she would not shed but only hide. So over the long years, she hid it from her love; her little Ubermensch. With the thought in mind, she leaned in and while holding his hand, whispered into his ear...

"Please do not see it as a betrayal, I loved you so much, I did not want to lose you. My GOD is my life who I also would not give I chose both, my belief, and you."

"So here we are, at the shambles of everything, but I tell you, it does not need to be the end. Take the hand of my faith, let it be ours. Believe, truly believe, and let him into your heart, all will be forgiving, no matter what horrors your past had wrought. Let your last reflections be of him, and it shall open Paradise to you. Where we'll be together, forevermore.

Tightening her grip on his shaky hand, while staring into his defeated eyes. She gently brushed her lips against his cheek. Again she spoke softly, "Allow him into your heart. Accept our Lord and Saviour". With her other hand, she pressed the Luger against the base of his skull, closed her eyes, and squeezed the trigger, sounding the shot of eternity.

Then, I am back, lost in the blackened abyss of his eyes.

                  JUST DESSERTS!

I understood he ceaselessly and fruitlessly searched Paradise, for his love who will never appear, for though she successfully used the Dogmatic venues laid by her church, to spare him the eternal pit, herself not being spared. For her squandered last breath, spent in breaking the cardinal laws of suicide and murder set forth by the very same convictions. More ironic, if he had been captured, tried, and convicted at the Nuremberg trials, and she had been his executioner, her entrance into "The Promised Land" would've been assured...

Oh well, I never could understand the strangeness of some Beliefs. Damn glad my opinions were much simpler I thought as I spotted Rasputin, engaged in a philosophical conversation with Abe Lincoln. I eagerly headed towards them... I just knew this was going to be good...

                    THE END

All rights belong to its author. It was published on by demand of Richard Rodriguez.
Published on on 01/13/2024.


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