Andre M. Pietroschek

Lone Stars, Sixguns, & Red Orc Tomahawks (Wild West Poetic)

Lone Stars, Warpstone Sixguns, & Red Orc Tomahawks

WIP, Revision 2023 © Andre M. Pietroschek, all rights reserved

A handful of prosaic-doublets about my Warhammer-Wild-West Intermezzo




No warranties. My prose, prosaic poetry, rants, and ebooks, are offered solely for personal contemplation purposes. The author and publisher are not offering it as legal, accounting, or other professional services advice. While best efforts have been invested in preparing this version and its sub-context, the author and publisher make no representations or warranties of any kind, and assume no liabilities of any kind with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of safety, functionality, reliability or fitness of use for any specific purpose. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be held liable or responsible to any person or entity with respect to any loss or incidental or consequential damages caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by the information, prose, ideas, and opinion contained herein. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. Every personality is different and the worldview, moods, prose, and conclusions contained herein may not be suitable for your situation or anyone's well-being.



Norse – Thorson's last stand


That Night in Odin's Belch, down in good ole Texas

Our kind Sheriff Thorson prepared to make a stand


He would soon die fightin' with a weapon in his hand

Blue eyes'sight grimly set on the arrivin' outlaw band


His deputies aside him, them three against the odds

Unafraid of Death they don't even dodge the shots


The outlaws look upon them, false pride upon true grit

More than one damn outlaw panty fillin' with warm shit


Rifles & sixguns started blazing, Death came as hot lead

Em three who stood for duty killed a dozen with godspeed


When everything went silent and 'em Valkyries arrived

The settlers proudly ensured that nobody had survived



Skaven (Ratmen)


Loadin' Warpstone bullets Sheriff Vermyn awaits the gang

Hornless, dwarven drunkards with Steamguns for da bang!


Workers'n'settlers hide in panic, as the west entry tunnel fills

Dread bearded beasts indeed came down here from their hills.


Four did invade the Saloon, like addicts to their craved fix

Our Sheriff Vermyn intends to send 'em down a River Styx


Em horny drunkard punker laid hands on harlots' silken fur

Em had it cummin', so clear what was now awaiting to occur


Saloon Doors kicked open, Warpstone bullets deliver death

Of four bearded fuck-ups not one could face Vermyns' wrath


So, victory squeaks loud, the Sheriff felled the horrid beasts

No miracle that on such a night the whole town gladly feasts!


Totemic Orcs


So Chief Sagebrush had send Gardush to Spirit's End

The Shaman, Gardush, was to become a Spirit-Friend


White Hand Tribe of Red Orcs was threatened to Death

By an army of riders bringing settlers to the weird West


Gardush wore sacred gear, rattle and tomahawk in hands

Come on out ye coward spirits, or we'll never be friends!


And strong Manitoba had heard him, as soon was clear to see

So dark elder specter promised to set all who die fighting free


Hence Gardush learned the warpath knows only gruesome ends

But those who fight with courage will for eternity meet friends


Gardush returned to the tribe sharing the spirit's final news:

Don't ask, where to flee, but what weapons you should choose


The tribe came down on Fort Knightly in that same night

Only Death an option even wives and kids braved to fight



Dark Elves


Herder Mordhuil was a hard and pious kinda seafaring man

Sworn to deliver homewards as many slave-herds as he can


His bunch had been hard workin' they gathered all they could

120 slaves planned to be, but nature selected how many would


The sacred Confederacy was fighting the overwhelming odds

And still the rebel songs sounded even louder than their shots!


From the swamps of Louisiana Mordhuil had once appeared

A knife-eared man of duty, who was respected & well-feared


The Crimson Corsair was a symbol of the fierce Rebel Pride;

Slaves gasped in awe, as the armored steamship came into sight


That bedeviled Union would make all good come to a final end

Millions free of chains, yet work-drones damned, if foe or friend


But, God in his dark wisdom has allowed them to prove worth:

Die to earn yer paradise, or submit to be living shame on Earth!






Conquistador false oaths not forgotten, thru Mexico they ride

Clear sight on their future, if the vile Union gains more might


Gorgeous'n'deadly riders their battalion joins the losing war

Da right cause is 'em only option, as on 'em honor they swore


Slann masters in their wisdom had tempered with their blood

Clone sisters created to help thwarting the blue Union flood


On ships of wood and iron they skirmish up to their last breath

For all of 'em da one man who touches 'em unpunished is Death


Opposing da Union demons and steam cannons cooking 'em alive

By each blade and bow, oh with what conviction they did strive


With ever-thinning ranks the tide of war does take its bloody toll

Still to the moment of their death with high spirit did they stroll


Sisterhood and Rebel Pride know they will never see their victory day

Still, shining the example of godsworn sacrifice chargin' into da fray!



Wood Elves



Freedom from all oppression, a law governing each equal for 'em all

High ideal or false promise them wood elves heeded the human call!


Priests, medics, and rangers taking up the uniforms of Union Blue

So sad for the deluded Confederacy they now must bloodily undo


Old Grey clashes with Modern Blue, both fighting for their highest goal

Each major battle soldiers clashed like swine and bull in a butcher's bowl


Their unit stands among trees in silence, as at their generals command

On dark elves & Amazons they've arrows to lose from each snipers hand


Earth Mother drinks much blood these days, but tears fill all their eyes

No forest-born child ever rejoices, when any true believer bravely dies


Slavery the sin & crime in one, a second trail of tears, law enforcement done

Elf fights Elf, Brother kills Brother, Sister kills Sister by blade, bow, or gun


Sacred Isha we've many wounds to heal, as too many fallen left to mourn,

Dear celestial Lords, Kurnous & Loec, in what a cruel world we were born




Chaos Beastmen


Them hunters stopped appearing, as Grey and Blue did go to War

It turned out a major banquet, as each day we raided even more


Khulgar swore Khorne had blessed us, as bloody battle never stopped

We had faith, when upon the Grey or Blue, from ambush we hopped!


Bashing, tearing, clawing for the delicious mystery meat a foe provides

All frenzy & joy, as surely great Khorne to glutton's paradise us guides


From our caves or captured forts we went on each new frenzied killing spree

Villages, towns, entire counties left unguarded, Grey & Blue nowhere to see


Our whelps each smiling at us, skull-totem-poles they build in pious pride

Never again will we doubt that there is blessing in Khornes' godly might


Our best females all with bellies swelling, as our hordes can afford to grow

No matter how Khorne split 'em into Grey and Blue, to Khorne we gladly bow






That new mine yields gold'n'iron, but the price is paid in lives

Each tunnel-warden knows that not much longer one survives


Graybeard patrols on duty, lantern & sawed-off shotgun in hand

Vile Tzeentch ensured the blood-toll for darn riches to defend!


With every chaos mutant onslaught new gore decorates each wall

Foul Nurgle, wickedly helpful, ensures we don't enjoy 'em to fall


Graybeard now shows a youngster how blows can make monsters cease

and as by now is needed how to avoid catching each god-send disease


Hardest work and fiercest fighting have ever been the dwarven way

Best workers, smiths'n'soldiers, but “drunks” is all most fellows say


Graybeard just reloaded, and with lantern one sees, but cannot shield;

So smack the mutant with the barrel, then shoot head to win the field


The young one is still shaky, but stalwart by his side to turn the tide

Graybeard honors the valor, as on and on they parry, shoot, and fight



Pinkertons' Way


Work-shunning and white collar the underpaid fellow in darn tweed

One legion of lackeys earnin' big, for with the town major 'em feed


So, the snobs go sleuth on yer smart villains ever greedy for da green

Apache and Comanche say no greater wanna-be-penguins they've seen


Still, with 'em educated standards 'em tend to solve a lot o' subtle crimes

And, funny, as 'em look, they are da darn best detectives o' their times!


So if ye ain't hollow-headed, and want yer own family earn any decent pay

Go apply, get yer darn costume, and solve each crime the Pinkerton Way


Outwitting da embezzlers, 'em forgers & counterfeiters, for da green'n'law

Their is a righteous streak to that future need big Chief Pinkerton foresaw


Em rigid and 'em royal, each faith-day, see da Pinkerton's kneel to Verena

So have yer opinion, son, but know 'em penguins made da law much keener



Em darn Undead – Yer living dead folks


Forced out of black slumber by forbidden words from tomes or priests

Again trapped in torment, we vengefully slaughter and feed like beasts


Them Hungry Dead 'em called us, but we come in many different breeds

Sometimes it's adaptation, sometimes it's a reflection of our sinful deeds


Our gluttons live in crypts, and they love to hunt their prey in ravenous packs

Bloodlust, hunger, diseased claws, and paralyzing saliva empower ghoul attacks


Bones rattling at night, on most graveyards the fierce skeleton infantry awakes

Once freed from flesh & tissue one has a grim look unto causes and great sakes

Stench, shock, and the ever-hungry brutal bite that is in what zombies delight

True Nitemares of townsfolk, when from the Fallen they arise as unholy blight


Oh Yuppie beyond 'em ranks of rabble there are 'em who even went to school

Frigging Necromancers and the Vampires undo almost any kind of mortal Fool


Da realm of the dead awaits ye all, and we returned to say'n'show it ever true

For, at times a grimoire-born return, or vengeance, is a darn jolly thing to do!




Four rode against Nurgle


Four-Hoofed angels darn-well chargin' through da black of night

Upon their backs two doctors who know 'gainst Nurgle 'em ride!


Foul chaos god was tempted, or maybe lured by darn catholic wrath

As he invoked disease t'cum an'plague every Sodomites cursed path


But, no urge'n'no darn green made 'em two dare such gambit at night

Em were husband'n' wife, both knowing modern science on their side!


Few hours time of incubation was left by yer well-learned higher math

If not getting syringed a chaos mutant would claw itself outta each ath


Shallya'n'Hyppokrates looked upon 'em faithful with kind'n'holy eyes

Four heroes rode to ensure that by their gambit no darn townsfolk dies


Dodge City far behind 'em, hearts-pounding due exert, as da seconds count

Sweat pours, breath's drawn hard, a ride toughest for da horses 'em mount


The bell-tower alerts da folks, as two doctors risked it all to make a stand

The few survivors tellin' tales about 'em saintly medics and the healing hand!



Mostly Work-Notes:

Song Lyrics for the Context:


  • Outlaw by Man'O'War
  • Last Rebel by the Tattooed Bagpipers at youtube
  • El Dorado Movie Theme – John Wayne got a good one here!
  • Ghost Riders in the Sky performed by Johnny Cash
  • Cowboy Dreams by Jimmy Nails


Films I once liked:


  1. The Last Outlaw - Goldie with Mickey Rourke
  2. Once upon a time in the West. Henry Fonda and Charles Bronson gave greatness to it.
  3. Westworld. Yul Brynner really influenced my life, and made me shriek.
  4. Young Guns, as once I shared the naive idealism of the youthful spirit.
  5. The Shootist, as John Wayne gave it a very mature weariness&death-wish.
  6. Nevada Pass - Goldie with Charles Bronson
  7. Tombstone - Val Kilmer performing darkly-splendid!

All rights belong to its author. It was published on by demand of Andre M. Pietroschek.
Published on on 03/03/2023.


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